It’s so much easier when people agree with me. I don’t have to worry about proving a point or getting buy-in. But the best part of people jumping on board with my plan is that my ego remains intact. I would love to tell you when it comes to feedback and criticism that I can take it. I want to tell you that I never face pushback because everything that I think of is gold. The reality is that when people give me feedback, I have to remember:
If you are emotional like me, it’s really easy to take criticism personally. Even if the feedback is constructive, it can feel like an attack if your ego is not in check. When people critique your ideas, provide feedback on your decisions, and question your strategy, it’s not necessarily a commentary on your character. Like you, they want what is best, and they feel by contributing, they can work towards helping your ministry and leadership improve.
At the same time, some people will come to you with the emotion surrounding their critiques. The anger or frustration they express towards you might not be about you. What they are feeling might be due to not having control over the situation. What we have to do is diffuse the emotion, by affirming what they are feeling and listening to what they need to say.
As leaders, we need to listen to the feedback even if it’s painful, but we shouldn’t take it as a personal attack. Instead, we should look at criticism (no matter how negative it might be) as information we can use to improve our strategy. And if it’s exceptionally negative, we should use the opportunity to pause, go into prayer and ask the question, “Am I missing something?”
When the criticism comes from people, we care about it’s a little easier to digest than when it comes from strangers or people we consider unreliable. A healthy leader is going to listen to it all because they know that we can’t have an unhealthy bias towards the source. Instead of dismissing the information because of the cause, they’ll ask:
And then they’ll bring their answers to people they trust to affirm, deny or clarify the intel. Healthy leaders will take the feedback, and if they can’t determine the value, they’ll rely on others to help them. When you are biased with who you listen to, then you limit your accessibility as a leader. People will hesitate to tell you what you need to hear because they’ll pin you as someone who only trusts the insight of a specific group of people. When you are accessible, people will trust your judgment, and it’ll be easier to follow you.
When we sit alone as a leader, it becomes very daunting to process all the critiques and criticism that come our way. We end up carrying the whole burden and fall under the belief that we have to fix everything on our own. As a leader, you have the responsibility to set the direction and make decisions, but that burden is shared with a:
Therapist: There is a lot that can go into our minds that can be difficult to sort. Talking to an outside and object source can help you tackle the feedback with an objective account.
Feedback isn’t bad; it’s an essential resource for your ministry. It allows you to make better decisions and develop a strategy to bring more people to Christ. Feedback can get messy because it involves emotions, but it’s easier to handle when you have a strategy and a plan.