As I drove to the church my stomach began to churn. It wasn’t nerves, it was something else, something deeper. It had been a rough week, after being chewed out by a parent, falling behind on message prep and a thousand other tasks piling up I started to wonder, “Am I really qualified or just an imposter?”
When I think about all that I’ve done, and who I am today it amazes me that I still have doubts. But, even after starting a business, 2 books and 14 years of professional youth ministry I can still feel like an imposter. I’m not alone in this feeling and as the video below shares even the most successful wonder the same.
Youth ministry can be a gauntlet and there is a lot of pressure to succeed. The self-doubt and fear of being designated as a fraud can be debilitating. It can slow down what God has called you to do. The way I’ve gotten through the emotions is by:
I get plenty of feedback with what I do. I get plenty of affirmation from friends, family members and coworkers. I receive all sorts of critiques and criticisms as well. Much of what I hear is valid, but it’s easy to twist it in a way that can cause me to wonder, “Am I fraud.”
The voice I need to constantly listen to is the one of God. It’s the compass that sets me straight and reminds me of who I am meant to be. That means embracing prayer, especially quiet time prayer. It means looking to scripture and learning more about His love. In the end there is only one voice that matters and it’s His.
In moments of high pressure I’ll feel myself whispering, “You are going to mess this up.” and “They’re going to discover that you don’t belong.” The reality is that I’m equipped to do it and even if I fail, there is something good that can come of it. If I find that I’m knocking myself down, I try to change it with a little pep talk. Instead of saying “You can’t do this.” I tell myself, “You’ve got everything you need.”
It might seem silly to give yourself a pep talk, but it’s what God has called us to do. Jesus told us to not only love God and others, but to love them as ourselves. Talking positively to yourself is a reminder that you are God’s creation and He doesn’t make mistakes.
It’s easy to get stuck in your failures and lose sight of your accomplishments. While you don’t get a trophy or plaque for the small things, you should still memorialize your feats in one way or another. This can be done through a journal or planner (I use the Monk Manual). It’s also done by taking time to set goals and evaluate your progress.
When tracking your accomplishments do it with people who you trust to hold you accountable. That might be a small group, it could be with a mentor or coach (For more on coaching check out HERE). Have those people point out what you are doing right and invite them to celebrate alongside of you.
It’s easy to get down on yourself when you are constantly comparing one person’s accomplishments to your own. Social media only perpetuates this problem. Just when you are thinking about how good your ministry is, you see someone do something incredibly awesome with theirs. We hit like on the image as an act of good will, but immediately criticize our own.
To move through the comparison trap remember that your ministry has its own unique identity. What works in one place won’t work in another. The more we can clarify and define our ministry’s identity the more confidence we can build and we won’t worry about what the other ministry is doing.
If you struggle with imposter syndrome know you aren’t alone. It’s important to reach out to those you trust, share with them your struggles and allow them to pour into you. Above all else know that God has you right where He needs you and you are going to do awesome.
Want more great content?