As I walked up to the door I saw a student hanging outside. I asked him if he was okay and he responded, “I’m fine, I’m just not sure if I’m in the right place because I don’t see anyone I know.”
I couldn’t blame him for feeling that way. The door to our gym where teens hang out was closed. It didn’t look anyone was inside, so I reassured him that he wasn’t in the wrong place. We walked in, I got him a name tag and when I opened the door to the gym I could sense his relief as he saw friends there waiting for him.
It was a situation that shouldn’t have happened. And in my tenure those events have been far and few between. One of the keys to successful ministry where teens come back each and every week is by how we greet them at the door. This not only matters to new students but your most committed. If you don’t show them the love they’ll wonder, “Does anyone care if I’m really there?”
At the same time I’ve seen hospitality taken a little too far. I’ve been to youth ministry programs where teens form a tunnel when you walk in. You are hugged and celebrated which seems okay, but for anyone who enjoys their personal space this can be a turnoff. While each person is going to have a different opinion of what’s welcoming and what isn’t here are 3 principles that I’ve found essential:
Whether or not you check-in teens, hand out name tags or give high fives make sure someone is there to greet people as they walk-in. This serves at least three purposes:
1. It can confirm that they are in the right place.
2. If begins the relationship between the individual and the ministry
3. If someone has questions someone can direct them to the right source.
You also need to make sure they are friendly, but not overwhelming. Someone who has a natural smile, says “Hello.” and is able to direct them.
If your program starts at 5pm you shouldn’t be setting up at 5pm. You need to be ready to go at least 15 minutes before you unlock the front doors. There is nothing more awkward than being a guest and waiting for your host to get ready. It makes you feel like you did something wrong by showing up on time.
Yes, it means you’ll have to prepare and build in more margin, but it’s worth it. If you are ready to receive people as they enter into your ministry then they’ll feel like you’ve valued their effort to come on time.
Unless everyone shows up at the same time you should have something planned for them to do while people wait. Two simple options are providing food and games. Not only will both keep them occupied while they wait for others but it can also serve as an ice breaker.
It allows them to ease in without having to make idle conversation with people they don’t know. If you provide food make it handheld and something people can walk around with (e.g. pizza). If you provide games or activities make sure you have something they can play solo (e.g. playing cards) or with a group (e.g. cornhole).
There are always exceptions to these rules. If you have a small gathering or it’s informal you might not need go all out, but as your ministry grows it important to put these principles in place. Remember each teen and their parent is walking in feeling a little tense. You can ease their tension by reassuring them that they are in the right place and you’ll take care of them while they are there.