Parents used to scare me. I used to think they were out to get me because many interactions were filled with criticism, disappointment and stress.
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It’s taken me years of ministry and having kids of my own to realize that parent’s are not looking to pick a fight. Instead they are looking for assistance, insight and guidance when it comes to their own teenager. As youth ministers we need to come alongside of parents by:
Your capacity is limited. To pastor every teen in your ministry is impossible. Recruit men and women who can love the teens and their parents. Teach your leaders to put parents first because it will help them get to know the teens further.
When you connect parents with the adults on your team it will expand your reach, and give parents a new resource. They will not have someone to call if you are all tied up. They will have another person by their side.
Parents like your teens need to practice Christian fellowship. Starting a small group program for adults in your parish is huge. It will give parents insight into what you are doing and provide them spiritual support.
Forming small groups for parents (And other adults) will give them a support network. It will help them go deeper in their relationship with Christ. It will let them know that they don’t have to parent or live life on their own.
Parents often hear from people of authority what their teen is doing wrong. If you want to earn parent’s trust start calling them to brag on their kid. Let them know what you see, what you like and what they are doing well.
Not only will you make a parent’s day, but earn their support. They will see you as someone who loves their teen and loves them in return.
Find parents in your church who are invested and involved in the community. They will help you understand what parents face on a regular basis.
Share with them your goals in the program. Ask them to help you advocate for your ministry and connect you with important community leaders. They will give you a better gauge of the community.
APPROACHING THEM WITH GRACE
Parenting is tough. It can be demoralizing when a teacher or coach disciplines me or my kid. When it comes to parents we need to approach them with:
The more grace we can show them, the more they will see that we are on their side and not someone out to get them.
While parents are the primary source of faith formation for their teen, they cannot do it on their own. In fact to raise the next generation on your own is insane. They need you and you need them to grow a healthy disciple and to reach more teens.
[reminder] How are you coming alongside of parents? [/reminder]